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He said he'd joined determined to overcome his intimacy fears but hadn't been moved by any of the women he'd met. I want to hear your voice."He called me that night, and was even smarter and funnier on the phone. "Ever since my father died, I've been terrified to get too close to anyone..." The e-mail was long and apologetic, full of searing self-criticism and shamefaced confessions.

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Don't just wing it when you have time, or you'll wind up spending weeks forgetting to talk to each other.3. It's tough having to spend time apart, but appreciate it. Well, the best of one world and the kind of medium-OK of the other world, but still.9. Make sure you're keeping those as your real form of communication. Even if you feel weird about it, it'll keep you two focused on each other.

I've crunched the numbers (numbers = smoked almonds), and come up with this informative Tinder guide for you ladies wading into the digital dating poo.

But after using the app for so long, I've also noticed certain patterns in the way men present themselves via their Tinder profiles.

Photo: Instagram If you haven't heard of Tinder, then congratulations: You are probably in a loving, monogamous relationship. And the best part about Tinder is you can people-watch without even putting a bra on. For every guy with a nice smile holding a shelter puppy is a dude in a fedora popping bottles at the local T. Related: The "Only Here For Sex" Dude will make things pretttttty clear in his bio, usually by telling you what he's only there for.

(SWIPE LEFT) But those of you single and ready to swingle are probably well-versed in the dating app taking the world by storm. But, because of its ease of use and likelihood of being able to "get it in" on a bi-monthly basis, Tinder attracts all kinds. The more confident of this species may even list size if he is so inclined.

In the morning when I arrived at my bank job, I would call him right away. to 6 p.m., and our conversations were a welcome respite from my monotonous routine.

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