There are many facts about the transmission rates but keep one important thing in mind, everybody is different.
If you have been dating someone with herpes for a significant amount of time and just found out that they have HSV, then you may have suspected that they were unfaithful in your relationship.
I've always had trouble connecting with others, so limiting the future dating pool sounds like a bad choice.
As far as I can figure if I want to try and stay with her, perhaps just suggesting we don't have sex while I sort through this is a good approach. Taking the risk of contracting it (assuming I haven't already) is a big risk even if statistically small as women I'd date in the future I'd obviously have to tell assuming I tested positive.
Ella Dawson: Now, when I date, I have to have a conversation about the fact that I have an STI.
That used to really freak me out, especially in the beginning when I was newly diagnosed and still learning about the virus and very self-conscious about it.
Often the longer a person has the virus the less frequent and less severe their outbreaks will be.