Others, though, spend so much time on cyber sex that their lives and relationships suffer.
Well never fear, because the solution is here in the form of ‘cybersex’ – a relatively new phenomenon (I think) where folk from all over the globe are using technology to flirt, tease, meet new people, and then viciously masturbate themselves to completion in front of a group of total strangers. All you need are 1) a webcam, 2) your genitals 3) a working hand and a FILTHY imagination! The easiest way to do this is through an internet connection.Being online becomes a priority, to the detriment of real-life relationships.The counseling center at the University of Rochester offers a useful checklist to help people with cyber sex addiction, and their friends and families, to recognize the problem.If you’re a lady, you could invest in one of those things that disabled people attach to their heads to type that makes them look like spazzy chickens. ” and “ah Christ sorry there’s someone at the door, I think it’s the fella from the council about the noise, we had a party the other night and it got a bit messy, a man actually overdosed in the kitchen on something and we didn’t find him for a week lol, brb , ;) ” 6. Don’t finish too quickly There’s literally nothing more embarrassing than shooting your load after about six seconds and then having to sit watching someone else on the other side of the world frantically do their business in front of you while you experience a feeling of deep self-loathing whilst you’re walking around with all kitchen roll stuck to you with your trousers round your ankles like a half-mummy half-zombie and why does my wife never touch me anymore and I think she’s shagging that man from Domino’s. Or if you’re feeling romantic just pull your underpants down to your knees, or if you’re a girl pull your top up and put your bra on top of your boobs so they look a bit like flip-up sunglasses for tits. If you’re a man you may want to pull your legs right up as far as they will go, and then put your feet either side of your computer so the webcam can see your balls going up and down and stuff. We all need a different amount of hands to help us achieve sexual satisfaction, usually the rule is one for boys and two for girls so they they can touch their boobs as well as their noo noo. If you’re going to do this then make sure you get their age, sex and location – from experience this will help you find them a lot faster than getting a plane to their country and then going to their house and rifling through their bins and then having a stand up argument with their father on the lawn and then apologising a lot and crying.