And there was this, an eye-catching display of dating data, and arguably the most interesting of the lot: The chart, which comes from a longitudinal study by sociologist Michael Rosenfeld, says a lot about how romance has evolved over the past 60 some odd years.It shows the rise of online dating (which has only been more pronounced for same-sex couples), clearly depicted by the darker of the two blue lines above (notice not only its furious ascent, but also its relative importance—more than 20 percent of straight couples reported meeting their partners online in 2009, the most recent year for which data are available). However, if you’re like the many single 40-somethings out there, you realize that you’re in the prime of your life, and enjoying yourself is the name of the game.In fact, with a myriad of life lessons already under your belt, now is probably the best time to find someone special—someone who is both a loyal companion and a true soul mate. Often, we are our worst enemies when it comes to having a healthy self-image and a positive vision for our life. A healthy lifestyle and a positive mindset are a prerequisite for relationship success. Many singles put their lives on hold until they meet “the one.” Don’t wait to take that special trip or try out a new restaurant. ” If you always wanted to take that mountain climbing class, do it. If your ideal man is George Clooney without the commitment issues, it is time to revise your list. It is easier for your mind to “create pictures” of how you want your love life unfold.From professional matchmakers to experienced relationship coaches, we’ve gathered a group of love aficionados who understand what it takes for mature adults to identify what they want and how to achieve it. Acknowledging what you have lays the foundation for bringing great things, events and people into your life. Hiring a professional matchmaker will greatly enhance your chances of meeting the person who’s right for you. These types of groups offer diverse activities monthly and provide an instant social network. Volunteer your time and talents to a charitable organization. Rather than sipping coffee alone, go to the nearest Starbucks or coffee spot. (You won’t have different results if you keep dating the same type! So often we blame others and don’t take time to reflect on how we showed up. If you haven’t done something in a while that brings you pleasure, make a commitment to try it again and you will have a certain je nais se quoi that will make you irresistible in dating. If self-doubt creeps up, replace the negative thought with something you absolutely love about yourself. If you can’t think of anything, enroll good friends to help. Get excited about how much you will learn about yourself during this process. But if you focus on love and how much you already have in your life, you will find yourself more grateful, more satisfied and more loving. Start concentrating on the relationships that you already have in your life. Instead, remind yourself of your brilliance and beauty. With billions of people on the planet, I promise you there is at least one good one left. “I was past 40, I had been married for a long time and I found myself back on the dating scene,” she recalls. I wanted to find the right person—not someone just to date and have fun with on a Saturday night.” A private and discreet person, Uli couldn’t imagine herself using today’s popular online dating sites to try and find a mate.
Their words of wisdom are designed to help you find the kind of relationship that meets your individual wishes and needs at this exciting point in your life. When you are grateful, you feel good about yourself and you are in the right frame of mind to attract love into your life. Define the values and qualities that you need to have in a life partner. We are open to reaching out for professional assistance in all areas of our lives—we hire tax consultants, investment professionals or personal trainers, yet when it comes to our love lives, we mistakenly believe that we can find our life partner by chance. The Fed EX person will not deliver your significant other to your door. Approach others with a smile and your business card. Networking events are great places to make connections. Submit an interesting profile with a current picture and let the communication begin! You may want to base this list on qualities people possessed who were difficult for you to handle in past relationships. You’re fabulous, no doubt, but there are probably things you did—or didn’t do—in your last relationship or on dates that you can learn from. Passion is one of the sexiest qualities you can possess. So many daters focus on their flaws and why someone they like would never be interested in them. Remember that the act of love requires taking risks and being open—with your mind and in your heart. Start getting excited about all the new people you will meet. If you focus on fear, you become more fearful; if you focus on doubt, more doubtful. Now that you are focused on what you want—love—start acting on that emotion. Friend love and family love are both very powerful emotions. Steer clear of any conversations about how terrible it is to be dating at 40, or how there are “no good men or women out there.” Remember to keep your focus on what you want and also remember that you only need one. Creating a Dream Partner List is possibly the most important thing you can do when you are looking for love. Grab your journal and a glass of wine, put on some Barry White or whatever does it for you and then go to work on capturing all of the qualities that you want and desire in your partner. The truth is that your list is just an exercise to help you be clearer about what it is you want to attract and what you will be looking for in a mate. It was finding the right people—people who shared her life goals—that was the issue.Although they are still popular with tech types—Julian Assange, the mercurial co-founder of Wiki Leaks, reportedly once maintained profiles on dating sites under the name “Harry Harrison”—they now attract millions of people from many walks of life.Com Score, a research firm, says Match and Zoosk, two large dating services based in the United States, saw 4.6m and 4.8m unique visitors respectively come to their American sites in November 2010.Last month, the BBC explained how love has changed over the years. Future spouses could be found living around the corner.Or at least in your part of town," the piece said, directing attention to a series of charts.It speaks to the weakening of America's religious backbone, which has lost influence with each passing generation.