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The person you fell in love with was a fraud- you saw only the mask that they wore.
Now that you have realized he (or she; I will continue to use “he” to simplify things) is a narcissist, you also realize that he is a liar with no conscience and that he loves only himself.
It is hard to admit that he has never really loved you, but you need to understand he is incapable of loving anyone other than himself.
He has damaged your self-esteem and confidence and your feelings of despair, loneliness and anxiety have all increased. However, you CAN leave the narcissist and this unhealthy relationship.
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It is much better to end a relationship with a narcissist, the sooner the better, rather than letting it drag on.